A brief autobiography
I was born in Cambridge, England but moved at an early age to Belfast in Northern Ireland where I went to school and did as much growing up as I was to achieve in most of my lifetime.
Belfast was a great place to be a writer - or, indeed, any kind of artist - in those days. The circle of like-minded people was small and enthusiastic and there were local institutions, such as BBC Northern Ireland, that encouraged young authors. A young writer seemed a good thing to be, so I began writing poems.
Belfast was a great place to be a writer - or, indeed, any kind of artist - in those days. The circle of like-minded people was small and enthusiastic and there were local institutions, such as BBC Northern Ireland, that encouraged young authors. A young writer seemed a good thing to be, so I began writing poems.
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My academic interests were strongly scientific, so I went up to Christ's College, Cambridge to read zoology. Not very sure what I was going to do next, I tried my hand at teaching, which I did in a wonderful school (originally for girls, though boys got in eventually) in Suffolk. If you're going to be a teacher, it's a good idea to do it early on, while you can still remember the things that you yourself were taught. With something like biology it's also a good idea to teach what you know while it's still true. The subject moves so fast that a lot of what my textbooks told me at school is simply out of date now. Though we did know about the circulation of the blood; I'm not that old.
I couldn't really see myself being a teacher forever (I knew I'd be caught out eventually) so after a decent number of years I moved to London and became a researcher, writer and editor on Which? magazine, a unique institution which, in those days at least, was run by a smart and stimulating set of people. I spent my days testing electric drills. Once I wrote an article about wood, the first line of which I stole from the magazine's previous article about wood. I thought it couldn't be improved, so I copied it across word for word. The sentence was: 'Wood comes from trees.' My future as a communicator was assured.
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None of this is recorded in photographs. No-one ever takes pictures of me except on holiday, as you can see, and even then I have to ask. After journalism, I went into business - actually in the City of London - first as a marketer for the accounting firm KPMG (some of my best friends are accountants) and then by starting up a design, editorial and communications company.
Running your own company is the best fun you can have in business when times are good. The prospect of all that money being stuffed through the letterbox makes you leap out of bed with glee in anticipation of another day at the entrepreneurial coal-face.
But when times are bad, none of this is true. We had our ups and downs with the company, roughly in line with the boom-and-bust economy of which we discovered we were a part.
However, we always managed to find some fun in it.
Running your own company is the best fun you can have in business when times are good. The prospect of all that money being stuffed through the letterbox makes you leap out of bed with glee in anticipation of another day at the entrepreneurial coal-face.
But when times are bad, none of this is true. We had our ups and downs with the company, roughly in line with the boom-and-bust economy of which we discovered we were a part.
However, we always managed to find some fun in it.
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Thinking I might have just one more job in me before I could decently retire, I joined Diageo, the huge drinks company, just to see what it would be like to do real work for a living. I met some wonderful people there - skilled, professional and up for a laugh, which has to be all you need. Working for Diageo was the most fun you can have without a drink in your hand. Occasionally, I did both simultaneously. The company is - to borrow a word commonly heard emanating from the public relations department - global, which means that practically everyone in the world drinks its products. Consenting adults, anyway. This provided me with copious opportunities for travel, particularly to Africa and Asia, which is one of the aspects of the job for which I am most grateful. I was almost sorry to go, but my retirement dream beckoned. This is a rare non-holiday photo.
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The very day after I retired, my wife and I were on a plane to Thailand. Seriously; it was the next day. Here, we have a modest bungalow on a slight slope above the sea in Pattaya, on the east coast. I wish I could say the photo was of our household pet, perhaps scaled down a little. If elephants didn't exist it would be essential, but not credible, to invent them.
That's the seaside resort of Pattaya in the background. This extraordinary town, and other bits of Thailand, now forms the backdrop, and sometimes the foreground, of the essays, novels and short stories I have been writing since coming here. Thailand has a fascinating culture that I do not begin to understand, but I'm hoping that that can be a good thing.
Wandering around in a state of advanced bemusement, not quite knowing what anyone's saying or what's going on, is what foreigners generally do here. Sometimes they 'go native' and dress up in what they convince themselves is traditional Thai garb to have their photos taken. It's a mystery why anyone would do this. That necklace, I recall, was made of plastic, but traditions have to start somewhere. If you thrive on mystery, you'd thrive here.
If you would like to share your experiences of any of this stuff, please get in touch.
If you would like to share your experiences of any of this stuff, please get in touch.